Things I Love

I love fall.  I love it deeply, immensely.  I love the smells of fall, the sweaters of fall, the crisp air, new beginnings, the intermittent rain of colorful leaves.  I love pumpkin-picking in a vast field with my family in the fall.  I love fall birthdays, and parent-teacher conferences, and falling into the rhythm of a new school year.

It seems lately, however, that with so much going right, there is also so much going wrong.  Life barrels along and there are days I find myself questioning my skill as a parent, as a non-profit communicator, as a committed writer, as a grounded spiritual person, as an active member of the LGBT community.  I question the odds – of my shoulder unfreezing, of our kitten testing negative this time for FIV, of my daughter being prescribed an eye patch.  And then I sleep, or then I eat, or then I write or I chat or I wake up to sunny weather, and the doubts fall away again.

Today, I’m in a good mood.  Tomorrow, I may not be.  I’ve decided to make a list of things I love, in case I need it tomorrow.  I’m challenging myself – on the train, at lunch, in conversation with my partner, my kids, or my friends – to share a few lines from my list.  Here goes.

Things I Love

• Chicago’s caramel and cheese popcorn mix from Garrett’s (Thank you, Debby.)
• Puddle-splashing in the sunshine after days of icy rain
• Watching my seven-year-old break into playground slang and pre-teen pop music dance moves, half-dressed just before bedtime
• Hot and sour soup when I’m stuffy-headed, eyes-burning, sniffly, pathetically sick
• A recent card from my stepdaughter sharing some of the ways I’ve impacted her life
• Eve Ensler’s take on the Occupy Movement – Ambiguous UpSparkles From the Heart of the Park (Mic Check/Occupy Wall Street)
• Blog comments from any (and every) perspective
• When a good friend invites me into her office and shuts the door as I’m nearing the edge of a personal precipice
• Giggling babies, gurgling babies, babies
• Tail-wagging dogs meeting me at the front door
• Kittens who think they’re dogs at the front door, twitching their tails and rubbing against my shins
• Cold pizza for breakfast
• Crossroad Funds’s “Reading Change” for social justice book list
• Crime novels
• Waking up each morning to a partner who fills our house with happy
• Clean dishes
• Cheesy scrambled eggs with salsa
• Brownie Leaders whose daily commitment to girls and courage and leadership and friendship and service and fun is astounding
• My daughter’s latest campaign to “color the scene,” turning “the boy runs” into “the boy with the sparkly red shorts runs as fast as he can in the race”
• Making lists, reading lists
• A colleague’s daughter’s pre-writing list tacked up on a bulletin board by her desk
• Family photos where everyone’s eyes are smiling (yes, we do have a couple of those!)
• A long history of LGBT women and men whose coming out made my coming out so much easier
• Blogger friends who write about coming out with unbelievable precision
• Apple blossoms
• Fresh jasmine
• Straight friends who know more about the Boy Scouts’ policy on gay Scouts than I do
• People who stand by their convictions
• Morning light through beveled glass making rainbows dance on the stairs, and my daughter discovering their magic
• The deep rich quiet of reading in bed beside someone I love, no matter what the day holds, each night

Have a beautiful day.