Belief

10 Apr

If you told the twentysomething
newly-out lesbian me
whose every hope hinged
on this dream
of a longtime lover
and two cats
that I would be living
with a wife –
Did you hear me? –
a wife, a daughter,
two dogs, a cat,
another daughter
grown and flown
miles and miles away 
who fills the house
with happy when
we visit one another,

If you told me
this was the dream,
this

was the life
I had built
for myself,
if history had looped,
and I had a way
to warp what was to come,
would I have taken it

then,
as a newly out lesbian
twentysomething
know-it-all
in-your-face
artist
scraping by
in my studio
apartment
overlooking
the lake?

If you told me the night
I laid on the floor
with my head between
two speakers,

would I have believed you
when you said
this
is the life
I am meant
to lead?

Would I have believed
this
life
we’ve
built,
this
life
I
want,

these friends,
this family,
these pets,
these girls
are
what I love most
in the world?

Would I have
Believed you then?

* * * * *

National Poetry Writing Month
30 poems in 30 days

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2 Responses to “Belief”

  1. Sharmili M April 10, 2016 at 8:06 pm #

    Lovely. Nicely done. I wonder the same question for myself.

    Sharmili Majmudar

    Pooling resources does make a difference – http://www.crossroadsfund.org On Apr 10, 2016 8:05 PM, “Are you the babysitter?” wrote:

    > RoiAnn posted: “If you told the twentysomething newly-out lesbian me whose > every hope hinged on this dream of a longtime lover and two cats that I > would be living with a wife – Did you hear me? – a wife, a daughter, two > dogs, a cat, another daughter grown and flown mile” >

    • RoiAnn April 10, 2016 at 8:08 pm #

      It’s so wild to think who we thought we’d be, and who we are now … so many threads the same, so many not …

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